The Gift of a Story

December 14th, 2011 by Thom Peters

I have the good fortune to be working with some wonderful YMCAs in Ohio – Lima and Putnam County – which allows me to occasionally get to Columbus and drop in on my parents. My parents reside in a Methodist retirement community with Dad living in the Alzheimer’s unit.

While visiting Dad, who is very happy to see me but not aware of who I am, I enjoy interacting with others, particularly those men who served in WWII and still have some memories and stories to tell of their time in the service. It seems that these war experiences are often their most pronounced memories.

Recently I sat down with Ken. While I had not spoken to Ken previously, I recognized him from other visits, as he is the only one who wears a suit and tie every day. I was aware he had been a newspaperman so after introducing myself I asked about his profession. He had some good memories of the war years, but throughout, the conversation kept coming back to the same situation. He was often called to meet with families who lost a son right before the military showed up to notify the parents. It seems that the military felt it important to have someone local there to soften the blow and get the story.

“I have good memories, and I have bad memories” was usually how he would start the story. And then repeat once again having to show up to the door – often of a family he knew – to be of part of those parents’ most horrific day.

A few years ago, I don’t think I would have engaged Ken in conversation. But I have learned in my Y work and fundraising work the importance of listening to people’s stories. I am constantly amazed at the willingness of folks share intimate parts of their lives with a stranger. All I have to do is be willing to listen.

This time it was my gift. You see, while telling the story once again, Ken, this hardened newsman, surprised me with tears streaming down his face and the unexpected gift of a quote from those days long ago. “I cried with the people.”

There are wonderful gifts out there this time of year. Take a few minutes, open up and listen to those people we see on the sidelines, but haven’t yet taken the time to know.