The Question

June 14th, 2011 by Thom Peters

It had been too long coming since our last lunch together. After occasionally bumping into each other over the past couple of years, always leaving with promises that we should reconnect, I found myself a few days ago across the table from Jim. He’s an impressive and warm man – a well-respected attorney and community leader. We met while serving on a church committee, which he chaired. While I no longer attend that church, I have thought about Jim and “the question” often.

I don’t remember who first brought it up, but after catching up on our families and lives, the conversation moved to “the question.” I wasn’t sure he would even remember asking it, but I haven’t. It has played out over and over in my mind since he first posed it three years ago. And yes, he did remember asking it.

As I have shared before, my family, friends and I went through a challenging time with my cancer, treatment and recovery several years back. Folks from my church and the churches of family and many friends were key to my support and Jim was one who reached out to me. So three years ago as we celebrated my road to recover over lunch, I was surprised not just by the question he asked but also by my response.

“So, did the cancer strengthen your faith in God or weaken it?”

While I may have spit food across the table, as I was completely caught off guard, I was more surprised by my response. “Weakened.” Until I blurted that out I hadn’t even thought about it.

“The question” began a long search on my part, but the search itself is not what is important to this story. What Jim did was ask a question of me that I had not asked of myself. He created the catalyst for a personal journey that I had needed to begin, but also needed someone to kick-start for me.

In your work or your life, have your come across individuals – or organizations – that may need “the question” asked? It may not be as big as faith, but maybe there’s someone who needs your nudge into reflection. Take them out to lunch and ask – just make sure they don’t have a mouthful.